I’ve been wrestling with myself over the last couple of weeks. I’ve known that I wanted to write this post, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Maybe the words escaped me. Maybe the focus did. Either way, here I am, two weeks later without a post to show for all of my pensive moods. I’ve been wrestling with questions, and they keep bouncing around the caverns of my brain.
What now? What happens now? What’s next? Who will we be?
Yes, it’s the same questions, with the same basic meaning regardless of the makeup of the sentences. They’re interrogative, meaning they are asking something while expecting an answer, yet, there are not really any simple answers. I’m going to ask anyway. Answer as best as you can.
What happens next? When the cameras from new stations get bored and begin following the presidential elections again, what happens next? What happens next when there’s no longer the same level of outrage and the white-hot rage of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, and now Rayshard Brooks becomes more of a medium simmer? What happens next when those who would become allies have gotten bored with the antiracist bookclubs and have had all of the conversations about how to live regardless of skin color? What happens next? What happens next when a Pastor tells us to “just get over it? Or don’t take so much offense?” What happens next when a Black or Hispanic man is told that if he “hates America so much, he can go back to Africa?” What happens the next time we see injustice served on a cold, metal plate before our hungry eyes?
What now? Do we really have to keep pushing the truth that America has a problem? Do we really have to keep protesting and shouting? Do our fists in the air change anything for anyone except somehow absolving our own hearts of a guilt that has been latent until somebody turned the heat up on society? What now? Who else can we talk to? What else can we protest? Who else needs to see that this world is broken? What now?
Who will we be now? Judging from my social media feeds, we are still a nation where so many have narrowed this fight down to liberals versus conservatives, anti-Trumpers versus pro-Trumpers, castaways versus elites. And y’all, I’m so sick of hearing about antiracist resources in schools. Teachers, if we need this stuff in order to open our eyes, what the heck are we doing serving children? I’m tired of the copy/paste messages on FaceBook that talk about everything while addressing nothing but the kind of rhetoric that serves to unify a side yet divide a nation. I’m tired of white guilt. There’s nothing wrong with being white. It’s an expression of God. Just like black. Or Hispanic. Or Latin. Or Asian. Or European. And guilt does nothing for anybody else but ourselves. Be who you are. Just be better, no matter who you are. Me included! Who will we be? Will we still be separate and unequal? Will we be churches with diverse membership, but no diversity in leadership positions? Will we be companies who complain about affirmative action while we bring on our “quota person” for the quarter? Will we be school districts who don’t hold our teachers to the qualities we hope that they teach our students? Will we continue to be so obsessed with standards that we forget about the students? And who will even care about the teachers? Who will care about the hearts of humanity? Who will we be?
Cause see, we will have to answer these questions sooner rather than later. We may get some justice for the horrific crimes committed to those lives, but history shows us that we won’t get all the justice that we crave. Somebody will walk. And then the protests will start again. The riots will begin. Looting. People will condemn “thugs ( this term sets me off every time I see it used in this fashion) destroying their own neighborhoods“. And the vicious cycle will start again. It doesn’t matter who is in the White House. The only seat of power that really matters is who sits upon the throne of our hearts? And this is no cop out statement, because all of this idiotic, unnecessary, divisive crap is the work of sin in our lives. Unless we allow the restorative work of Jesus to rule, then no matter how we answer any of these questions, we’re spinning our heels. I sense we are now being called to the carpet in a way that we are not ready for, but the blood demands a reply from the living. Our future hangs in the balance.
So what now? The hour is late. We’ve gone around the issues time and time again. We’ve pontificated until we were all blue in the face and covered in the sweat of hard work. Yet the hardest work still remains. We have to decide...
not legislation.
not a President.
not a sermon.
not a coalition.
WE have to decide who we want to be. Will we really change? Will we continue to do the work? Shed the tears together? Will we fight to be with each other or continue fighting to be divisive? Will we monitor our words as well as our hearts? Will we continue to live in offense? Or will we be more considerate that what we post might really wound the heart of somebody? Or will we just keep saying what we want to say....anybody else be ...well, I can’t say that word. Y’all, hear my heart...
There is a reckoning coming, if in fact, it’s not already here. We are seeing people who they really are. People are more confident than ever tossing aside the sheep’s wool and showing the wolf. And that’s fine. But for those of us who want this world to be better...
What happens now?